


Oneshot Hell

by needybb4life



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Death, I'm so sorry, Killing, Oops, Rating May Change, Will add tags as I go, basically a bunch of crack fics, blueberry has arrived, everythings stupid lol, i'll mark the chapters with all the bad, literally wrote this at 3 in the morning using random prompts from a prompt generator, little bit of sin in there now too, multiple au's to come, my fingers slipped, no i'm not, nothing graphic, oneshots, sans being an annoying big brother, sans just being a dork, there's angst now, we shall see, welcome to skelehell, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28748955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needybb4life/pseuds/needybb4life
Summary: Title says it all. Oneshots with no particular meaning written at ungodly times of the night based on random prompts. Shenanigans, mystery, action...socks?There's a variety of ratings now. I'll mark the chapters accordingly, along with warnings at the beginning of each.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	1. Blackmail

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so tired lol please someone just knock me out with a hammer or something. these oneshots are fueled by sleep deprivation. have fun guys, feel free to comment any silly ideas you might want to see in the future. just trying to get my love for writing back by warming up with small prompts. no promises I'll write them but it'd be appreciated anyways!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus has a photo. Sans doesn't like it. Hijinks ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None

Sans had never regretted a decision more in his life. He groaned and rubbed at his aching sockets, eye lights fuzzy and unfocused as he contemplated how he ended up in this position. His brothers’ ecstatic laugh did nothing to lighten his mood, only adding to his glum feeling of doom and honestly? He blamed his bro for dragging him into his stupid shenanigans. All because of a photo he REALLY didn’t want getting out.

“SANS! COME, BROTHER! WE MUST HURRY TO BEAT THE RUSH HOUR!” Papyrus screeched with enthusiasm and sans groaned again, dragging his feet like a petulant child, slippers barely coming off the ground. His gait was slow and low and he just...didn’t want to be here. AT ALL. But...the photo. And at that thought, sans swallowed the uneasiness and caught up with his bro, still grumpy, but trying to lighten his mood.

“BROTHER, WHERE IS THE PEP IN YOUR STEP? THE FIRE IN YOUR DESIRE? THE LUST FOR LIFE?!”

“paps, no,” sans groaned, not up to dealing with his brothers usually endearing zest for life. He just couldn’t stop thinking about that damned photo. “are you sure i can’t just stay home? all i wanna do is sleeeeep…”

“NYEH! THAT IS EXACTLY THE PROBLEM! YOU HAVE BEEN APATHETIC AND LAZY FOR FAR TOO LONG! I AM PROUD TO SEE YOU TAKE INITIATIVE, EVEN IF I HAD TO GOAD YOU INTO COMING ALONG!”

“you didn’t goad me into anything bro, you blackmailed me bro. the harshest of betrayals of brodom. i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to forgive and forget,” he groaned.

“OH DON’T BE SO DRAMATIC. IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU GOT SLOSHED AT FOUR IN THE MORNING-”

“papyrus please stop-”

“-AND DECIDED TO TRY ON THE HUMANS-”

“oh my god, pap please-”

“-UNDERWEAR! THEN YOU PROCEDED TO ADMIRE YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR PROCLAIMING HOW GOOD YOUR NONEXISTANT ASS LOOKED-”  
“papyrus-”

“-AND PROCEEDED TO PASS OUT IN A PUDDLE OF YOUR OWN VOMIT.”

Sans groaned in mortification and flopped onto the ground, hoping against hope that no one was listening too closely to their conversation. Papyrus stopped upon noticing the distinct lack of his brother’s presence and raced back to his side, standing disapprovingly over him with his hands on his hips. 

“HONESTLY SANS, YOU ARE ENTIRELY HOPELESS. IF YOU CANNOT BRING YOURSELF TO COMPLETE OUR DEAL, THEN I SHALL JUST HAVE TO USE THAT PARTICULAR PHOTO AGAINST YOU FOR SOMETHING WORSE THAN ATTENDING ONE JAZZERCISE CLASS WITH ME.”

At that, the stouter skeleton peeked up from the ground and his eye lights silently pleaded with his brother to just delete the photo and let everything go. “...you’ll delete the photo if i just attend one right? that was the deal?”

“CORRECT!”

“ok,” sans acquiesced and got up, dusting himself off, following his bro the rest of the way to the building the classes took place in.

Papyrus looked shocked but decided to not look a gift horse in the mouth and followed happily behind, opening the door with gusto and signing them both in cheerfully. Sans rolled his eye lights at his exuberance but a fond smile graced his face. His bro really was the coolest.

As the class progressed, sans literally sat to the side while Papyrus shouted and raged for him to join and only became angrier at the fact that his brother fell asleep mid-class. Papyrus fumed and grumped all while enthusiastically jumping and jiving along to the beat with the rest of the class, keeping perfect step with the music that belted out of the speakers.

It was certainly a sight to behold.

At the end of it, Papyrus threw sans over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, sans waving lazily at everyone in a half-assed goodbye and nearly sprinted home in his frustration. Sans just limply flopped and sighed, enjoying not having to walk, and squeaked when he was thrown onto their couch when his bro reached their humble abode.

“SANS I SWEAR, IT’S LIKE YOU HAVE NO SELF RESPECT! I’M CASHING IN THAT PHOTO FOR SOMETHING MUCH WORSE NOW! YOU WON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS UNTIL THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND BECAUSE MY PLANNING IS SO AMAZINGLY IMPECABLE!”

During his rant, sans casually grabbed his phone out of his brother’s pocket, found the horrid photo, and promptly deleted it fully off the phone. He looked up and grinned smugly as papyrus caught wind of what he was doing and snorted at the angry “NYEH!” his little bro huffed out.

“sorry bro, what was that again?”

“YOU-YOU HEATHEN!” Papyrus hissed out and snatched his phone, pouting at his ruined chances of getting his brother to be active and involved.

Sans chuckled mercilessly and flopped back onto the couch, wiggling himself deeper into the cushions and placing his hands behind his skull in a satisfied lazy position.

“sorry paps, guess i just didn’t have the guts to follow through on our deal.”

Sans rolled off the couch and raced to his room laughing maniacally as Papyrus chased him up the stairs with a rolled-up newspaper, shouting about his laziness and puns and “SEE IF YOU GET ANY MORE OF MY FAMOUS SPAGHETTI AFTER THAT LITTLE STUNT” and he just couldn’t help the full-on guffaws shaking his ribs as he hunkered safely away in his room.


	2. One Does Not Simply...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mysterious suitcase attached to an even more mysterious skeleton and a lonesome cop is at their wit's end trying to solve the dispute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is terrible. sorry not sorry lol
> 
> Warnings: None

Toby rubbed at his eyes and groaned as his neck popped with a particularly satisfying stretch. He had a suspect in for questioning for a very peculiar case and quite frankly....he was baffled. It just didn’t make sense and when he got called into the station it was hard for him to wrap his head around the idea.

The object that perplexed him sat almost unassuming across from him attached to...a skeleton. Yes, a skeleton. Upon first seeing the monster, he almost screamed bloody murder, the entities eyelights flickering softly like fireflies in those black as night sockets as they narrowed into hard pinpoints, a permagrin set in hard defiance. Sans was his name and he was creepy as fuck and his voice was unpleasantly deep, sounding like it was booming in the room, commanding attention and respect. Toby was terrified. And he still didn’t understand what it was about that damned suit case.

The skeleton was brought in, skull flushed blue and growled menacingly at anyone attempting to take it from him. He held it close to his chest and at one point stuck it up into his ribcage to prevent anyone from touching it. 

The quiet was disrupted and Toby almost jumped out of his seat.

“how much longer?”

“Huh?” Toby’s confusion only seemed to incense the monster further.

“how much longer am i going to be detained? this winter has been long and cold and i feel weary and worn. i would like to go home and i honestly do not see the reason for the hold up.”

A tired sigh escaped the cop. His shoulders slumped and he met those eerie eye lights dead on, eyebrows scrunching with frustration.

“You know why we have you here. We would be able to let you go as soon as we determine that you are not a threat.”

The monster growled irritably and held his suit case closer, becoming almost angry at what the police man was alluding to.

“what happened to privacy? there’s nothing worth mentioning in here, i swear.”

“We won’t be able to prove that until we look into it. The only reason we haven’t confiscated it at this point is because the person who called in to complain is notoriously racist and I honestly don’t believe one word that came out of their mouth. This would go by so much faster if you would just cooperate. Please,” Toby begged with his eyes and held out a hand towards the angry skeleton and flinched slightly as they hissed him. He dropped his hand and face palmed, looking at them flabbergasted. “Really?”

“is nothing sacred in this god forsaken world?! one does not simply expose what is inside one’s suitcase so carelessly,” the skeleton griped and groaned, slamming their skull onto the table and mumbled, “i swear on asgore, i’m gonna dunk on everyone here.”

Toby sighed again and they continued to sit in silence for a couple more minutes before the skeleton looked up.

“promise you won’t laugh?”

Taken aback, the cop was quick to shake his head yes and held his breath as the monster sat the case on the table, flipped up the clasps on the side, and turned it around….

“SOCKS?!” Toby shouted in outrage, “All of this over a damned suitcase full of SOCKS?!” He could almost cry with how frustrated he was and he wanted to reach over and punch the skeleton as a satisfied smug smile stretched his face in a creepy manner.

“but wait,” sans snickered, “there’s more.” His hand reached around and dug out an industrial sized bottle of ketchup, popping the cap open and taking a huge gulp.

…...Toby was done. So done. He stood up and marched towards the door, ripping it open aggressively.

“You’re free to go,” he hissed between his clenched teeth and wanted to scream as instead of getting up and walking out, the monster just disappeared with a POP and left behind the faint scent of ozone. He stomped to his desk and started filing an incident report and wracked his brain for ANY reason a skeleton monster would be so damn protective over a suitcase filled with damned ketchup and SOCKS of all things! It baffled him even more and he just wanted to go home. He swore if he saw that old hag who called in the “incident” he was gonna deck them good for wasting his time on something so incredibly RIDICULOUS.


	3. Theft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans is caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans is in the closet, you guys. He wants to come out but he can't. Press f to pay your respect boys.
> 
> Warnings: None

Sans took a deep breath and held it, hunkering down further in his brother’s closet and clutched the red scarf in a death grip. He had to get out unnoticed; his brother was bustling around in his room and as much as he wished he could take a shortcut, his bro would most certainly notice the displacement of magic along with the smell his shortcuts left behind. He breathed evenly and slowly, sticking to the back wall, tensing every time Papyrus came too close to the closet.

His brother busied himself cleaning and adjusting things around the room in anticipation for the “ULTIMATE BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION” and he needed things to be just so. Everything had its place.

Sans blinked slowly and continued to view Papyrus’s activities with desperation, internally screaming for his brother to just LEAVE so he could continue with his plan. He hadn’t meant to be put in such a position. He just wanted to grab the ruined scarf (Paps had ripped it last month during a particularly enthusiastic training session with Undyne) and escape in enough time to fix it up and shove it in the little gift bag he had bought last minute from the dollar store. Sans was nothing if not classy.

Papyrus hummed a happy tune as he worked and Sans wanted to slam his head against the wall in frustration. Nobody wasn’t even coming into his room, there was no reason for him to spiffy up the place as much as he was. If you asked Sans, he would just cover everything with a blanket and call it a day but brother was nothing if not thorough in his mission to rid the house of any and all dirt.

Sans tensed as Papyrus once again passed the closet and he thought he heard him head for the bedroom door. He relaxed only slightly only to yelp as the closet door was yanked open suddenly and stared straight into papyrus’s eyes, grin tight and scarf tangled around him.

“uh...heya paps,” he muttered in embarrassment, noticing his brother’s eyes beginning to bulge in indignant rage. “bye paps.”

And with that, he short cut out as fast as possible cursing that his cover had been blown. His brother’s ensuing scream made him chuckle as he hurriedly stitched together the tear with calm and steady hands (years of hand-crafted clothing for the both of them gave him plenty of experience and poise) and he stuffed it into the gift bag, shoving paper in there after. Not even gift wrap paper, he just took some paper out of a notebook and layed it haphazardly over the top, situating it in a half-assed attempt to make it look presentable. He took a moment to admire his handiwork and smiled crassly as he imagined his brothers’ exasperation once he laid his eyes upon it.

“SAAAAAAAAANS!” Papyrus ripped open Sans’ door right as he gave a two-fingered salute with a shit eating grin, shortcutting away, his brother’s voice ringing in his nonexistent ears. “SANS, YOU THIEVING ASSH-”

\--

Later at the party, surrounded by family and friends, Papyrus left Sans present last, refusing to even acknowledge the shoddily wrapped gift until the very last second. He would tell everyone that he abhorred the way it was packaged but everyone knew he was just saving the best for last.

When he pulled out the repaired scarf, orange tears bubbled up in his eye sockets as he gazed at his brother with love and admiration, only for it to turn into rage and irritation as Sans shot off a few witty puns. Everyone dissolved into laughter as the ensuing chase led them into the kitchen, the carefully crafted cake that Toriel has baked for them being shoved into Sans face. Papyrus laughed heartily at his brother’s face, looking dumbstruck and covered with cake. He decided yes, this Birthday was one to beat all birthdays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again written at butt thirty in the morning, so sorry about the quality but these little little prompts are super fun and I'm slowly reigniting my passion for writing. Depressions sucks yo.


	4. Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet an edgey skeleton. After a month or so of tiptoeing around each other, your relationship takes a tiny step forward with a tense encounter in your apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an older work of mine. Decided to throw it in here. I'm gonna throw some other past works in here after doctoring them up some. Get ready for more angst and cringe, WOO
> 
> Warnings: None

"You keep everything locked inside. You've never had a listening ear because you always push them away when they want to help. You hurt them so badly...not because you want to, no. But because you need to. You believe yourself a danger to yourself and others." 

I hit the nail on the head. Edge couldn't even look me in the eyes. He was still standing tall and frowning as if I had offended his ancestors but I saw the flicker of shame. The resentment he held for himself even though he boasted how great he was every day. The pain he pushed down with whiskey and violence. Hope sparked in my chest. I was getting through to him. I grit my teeth and straightened as tall as I could, the thought of helping this broken soul to heal filling me with DETERMINATION.

"Well, you won't chase me away. You can yell and throw things but I'm planting my feet like the roots of a tree and, come rain or shine, I am staying."

The glare he shot my way almost made me falter but no one could break my resolve at this point.

"WE SHALL SEE...H U M A N." And with that he twisted and slammed the door open, striding off to his apartment with self-assured steps.

I wasn't afraid. Not anymore. He is just as broken, if not more so than I am. As I got ready for bed, I swore to myself that I was gonna help him or die trying.


	5. Descent Into Madness *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans is sick of the resets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Depictions of Violence, Blood and Gore, Death, Abuse
> 
> I wrote this with the idea that Sans would take advantage of the resets, deciding to release the pent up rage and pain on the underground, eventually driving himself to insanity.

Fuzzed out eye lights stared despondently into a half-empty cup, watching the bitter brown liquid swish back and forth slightly from his subtly shaking hands. Ice crept it’s way up his spine and he took in a steadying breath, pulling the cup up to his mouth to take a tasteless swig, barely acknowledging that some spilled out the side of his mouth, his body becoming increasingly numb as panic welled in his soul. A loud bang to his left made him jump and his eyes shot in the direction of his brother banging pots around as he looked for the perfect pot to make his infamous friendship spaghetti. It would usually pull a chuckle out of the shorter of the skeleton brothers but cold fingers of fear gripped the base of his skull and he sucked in another steadying breath as he tried so very hard to focus on the here and now, trying to will away the sight of dust perfectly blending with snow, a scarf billowing in the wind, his numb fingers gripping the fabric tightly, rage curling into his bones and pooling in the middle of his sternum, his old friend feeling so at home in his chest……..

“SANS!” The shrill call of his baby brother made him jerk straight up and almost lose grip of the cup he was holding, his fingers fumbling to catch it before it met its untimely end on the kitchen floor. Another breath, another spike of that icy cold panic clawing its way up his nonexistent throat as he turned to his brother, trying his best to remain calm and in control of his quickly spiraling emotions.

“yea bro?” his deep baritone sludged out from between his teeth, shaky and unstable and he hated it. He hated himself.

Concern wrinkled the taller skeletons’ brow bones as he stilled and straightened to his full nearly impossible height. 

“SANS...COULD YOU GRAB THE NOODLES FROM THE PANTRY PLEASE?” Papyrus started putting water into the pot and clenched his teeth as he silently observed his older brother’s panic. He had always dealt with anxiety and he noticed over the years that if he gave him something to do, it would start to bring him back to the present. He always wondered where his brothers’ mind would wander off to cause that reaction but he sighed heavily as he knew he would probably never know. His older brother was nothing if not annoyingly, stubbornly secretive. Especially when it came to his own personal  _ issues _ .

“sure thing paps,” sans grumbled as he slid out of the chair, abandoning his cup on the dining table. Trudging over to the closet like space on the other side of the room, his bones heavy and tight, he opened the door and stared at the different labels, eyes seeing but not taking anything in, expression dark and withdrawn.

Papyrus set the pot on the stove and turned to face sans, his eyes squinting in thought. His brother was more out of it today than usual and it unnerved him slightly. A feeling of despair settled in the air and he tensed, noticing it was wafting off in waves from his short brother. His soul wailed in agony, unable to comprehend the hurt and reaching out in a desperate bid to help and soothe his beloved brother. He grimaced at the feeling and voice softer than usual he addressed him softly.

“Sans….are you...ok?” He knew it was a stupid question but his brother was hurting and he didn’t know how to fix it and his mind began to spiral into darkness-

“yea bro. just feelin’ a lil’  _ bone _ ly,” a small grin broke out of sans dark expression and he felt a little more grounded, the familiar feeling of indignant rage rolling off his brother grounding him more into the present. 

All sympathy fled Papyrus’s mind as his hands balled into fists at his side and he stomped his foot, flying off into a rant of how childish sans could be, always deflecting with incessant puns, his soul lifting slightly at the genuine smile that was still growing and he internally sighed in relief at seeing his brothers’ distant eyes come back into focus. 

Sans chuckled and reached into the pantry to retrieve the requested noodles, only to freeze as an overwhelming feeling of foreboding rushed over his body, those icy cold fingers of unadulterated fear shooting down his spine once more, tensing as the world around him began to crack and split, reality decompressing around him. His head jerked harshly over to his brother and a sound of deep-seated pain slipped out of him seeing the darkness swallow his tall form. He threw the box of pasta to the ground and rushed over in a belated act of panic, his phalanges grappling at the stifling darkness that enveloped him. Sobs wracked his world-weary bones as he raised his hands to his head, a mantra of “no no no no, please no,  _ please no, not again not again ple _ **_ase no no no non onononononnonononononono_ ** ” as he felt his soul whirl angrily in his ribcage a snarl being ripped from him as apathy and unbridled rage warred for the forefront of his mind. His crumpled form shook harshly, his bones rattling, tears squeezing out of his tightly shut eye sockets and he opened his eyes to never-ending blackness-

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“SAAAANS! GET UP YOU LAZY BONES! YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE!”

Sans shot up gasping desperately, trying to force as much oxygen into his nonexistent lungs as he could, tears still tracking down the sides of his skull, eye sockets squinting in confusion, panic, and pain. Several harsh knocks sounded on his bedroom door, the force threatening to make the solid material bend and break in two. Sans choked and coughed and spluttered rolling from his bed to the floor, crawling over to the window, his jacket feeling heavier than ever as he saw endless snow and trees raising into the black abyss of the cavern. He held onto the window sill for dear life, wishing, willing, praying, pleading, please please let this be some sick twisted nightmare…

The continuous knocks at his door dragged him away from his panic, turning around to do his best to calmly state he was up and held back his crying until he heard his brother stomp back down the stairs in their home in Snowdin. In the Underground. He was gonna kill that little shit when he got his hands on them, flashes of blood and broken bones sticking out of twisted, burnt skin, the smell of ozone in the air from his charging blasters ready for the last blast-

His eye flared up and with a pop he was outside of the door to the ruins, anger deep in his chest, his rage knowing no bounds. How dare they. How  _ dare  _ they... **he was going to rip them apart.**

The ruins door began to slowly creak open and his magic surged into his bones, the snow whipping around him, his jacket fluttering behind him, his hand raised, his eye so on fire in his skull he felt he might combust and he tensed and waited and as soon as he saw those  _ stupid  _ **_fucking eyes_ ** , he whipped his hand down through the air and a volley of bones crushed their small body, blood gurgling out of their mouth as he watched in sadistic glee, watching their life essence leave their body, his bones warming and he felt his LV grow, he grinned and he liked,  _ no he  _ **_loved_ ** _ it _ -

And he stopped. And starred. And then the horror of what he’d done, AGAIN, ran through his twisted sick mind. He watched the last of their life slip away a broken sound resembling his name leaving their broken lips...and his legs gave out from under him, numbly watching reality splinter around him again. The RESET rushing over him and he awoke once more to pounding on his door, his brother calling for him. He answered to appease and hearing the stomps down the stairs, he sat up and looked down at his boney fingers, disbelief and shock and a curling feeling of  **s a t i s f a c t i o n** settling over him...and he grinned sadistically and went and did it again. And again. And again and again, again, again, again, again, so many times over he lost count, his grin turning manic and sick, finding a weird tingle of dark pleasure slip down his back looking at the broken remains of the human, their lifeless eyes staring out in anger and helplessness and he felt so RIGHT so STRONG and he knelt down next to their broken body, whispering as reality broke again for what might have been the thousandth time.

“this is why i don’t make promises.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He made a game of it. He waited until they let their guard down and then he pounced, sometimes taking his sweet time ripping them apart, others getting it over and done with quickly. His rage had calmed significantly and the first few times he let them get past the ruins door after expelling his anger, they tried to go after Papyrus again. But with his newfound resolve and the deep addicting knowledge that nothing would matter, it would just RESET again, nothing  _ matters _ , he killed them before his bro was touched. He killed them over and over, a wide beaming smile filled with twisted glee every time his attacks pierced flesh, every time a bone broke, the teeth spit out in a mixture of blood and saliva. 

And sometimes he would even kill Papyrus in front of the human.

The first time it happened, a wayward attack struck Papyrus filled with the enthralling intent to  **kill, maim, hurt, burn, break, KILL KILL KILL KILL-**

Well, needless to say, it was an accident. The first time at least. Sans' cracked psyche saw it as closure. Hell, he thought, why hadn’t he done this before? Killing Papyrus himself was a million times better than allowing that  **_creature_ ** to touch him. His mind reeled with disgust the first time those thoughts flooded his consciousness but eventually he accepted them and he slowly grew numb to killing his brother. The look on the Humans face was priceless the first few times as if they couldn’t believe he would go that far just to shock them. 

_ It doesn’t matter, _ his mind whispered as he dusted his brother once again right before the final swing of the human,  _ it’ll all just reset anyways. Actions have no consequence with this power. I may not have direct control over it but...knowing that I can just kill them and it’ll all start over? It’s... _ **_freeing._ **

And so their never ending dance continued, reset after reset after reset. Sans fucking with the human and the human not being able to make up their mind whether or not they wanted to free everyone or condemn them.

After who knows how many resets, it got to the point where they would avoid sans and he took great pleasure in hunting them down.

He felt... **_i n s a n e._ ** And he  **_liked it._ **

And then he wasn’t just killing his brother, he was killing any and every monster he encountered; all his friends, Undyne, Alphys, Greater Dog, Lesser Dog, Dogamy and Dogaressa….Grillby…

It felt so  **_thrilling_ ** , knowing that  **_none of it mattered_ ** , that he could do as much damage as he wanted without any consequences. But soon enough, he wasn’t sure he really cared about consequences  **at all** . That thrill became stronger, like an addiction; killing his friends and enemies alike, watching them slowly dust away into the wind, their blood slowly soaking into the frozen ground. And he could just do it over and over, again and again, as much as he pleased. He wasn’t entirely sure what the feeling in his SOUL that he got every time he killed was, but it was some sort of high, something he couldn’t get enough of. Like the sweetest drug imaginable.

Sans came up with the bright idea to kidnap the human right as they came out of the ruins, wrapping them up in binding magic, toting them through the twisted hallways and making them watch as he dusted the remaining monsters, taking sadistic pleasure in watching them dust. By the end of his endeavors, he was covered in their remains, almost a chalk like substance, ever small motion releasing a cascade of white powder. And then he would kill the human, starting the cycle all over the next reset.

All the EXP all the LoVe, it was addicting to him in ways he had never known before. 

After a particularly satisfying run, before he inevitably tortured the human before killing them, he sat in the spot they had fallen down, calmly observing the quiet, eerie passage. Looking them up and down a twisted grin graced his features as he waved them over to hover in front him only a few feet off the ground. 

“y’know,” he started slowly, “i think i understand why you do it. well...did it, anyways, heh. this feeling...the rush...i always wondered what would drive someone to dust us...now i know. thanks, kiddo.”

And then he crushed their windpipe in his hands, pleased as the child slowly choked, their small, fragile body twitching and shaking in a desperate bid to be free.


	6. Edge (Part 2) *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night of drinking, things go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Abuse
> 
> Edge is not nice.

I ducked behind the counter as a shot glass whizzed right where I was standing. Fear shot through me as I huddled into a ball and tried to block out the ravings of a drunk man.

"YOU KNOW NOTHING OF ME, YOU SNIVELING WORM. HA! WORM. I SHOULD RUB YOUR FACE IN THE DIRT WITH MY BOOT. PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE."

Tears started to escape and my chest felt tight. I didn't expect a night of drinks with him to become so violent, not with me. He just started to open up and I though a few drinks would loosen him up. I couldn't have been more wrong. I let out a small shriek as another glass smashed above where I was hiding. 

" JUST BECAUSE I LET YOU BE AROUND ME DOES NOT MEAN I LIKE YOU, HUMAN. YOU ARE BENEATH ME. DID YOU REALLY THINK I CONSIDERED YOU AN EQUAL? YOUR SPECIES DISGUSTS ME. YOU'RE ALL QUIVERING FLESH BAGS WITH NO BACKBONE. WEAK! PATHETIC!"

I curled tighter into myself. He didn't mean it. It was just the alcohol talking...right?

"WORTHLESS."

I sobbed, covering my mouth with my hand, trying to make as little sound as possible. This will all blow over. 

"THERE YOU ARE."

My blood froze in my veins as I realized too little too late, failing to crawl away and he dug his claw-like phalanges into my calf. I choked on air as I was dragged back, my shirt riding up and the carpet burning my stomach. He wrapped his hand around my neck and raised me off my feet squeezing so tightly, I struggled to breathe.

"Plea-grk-ease...ssssstop," I could barely get the words out. A deadly smile slithered itself across his face.

"I'll teach you not to mingle with monsters." His voice was the quietest I had ever heard him be and I knew as he tightened his hold, that I was not going to have fun tonight.


	7. Blueberry *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little birdy told Blue you haven't been taking care of yourself. The Magnificent Sans to the rescue!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: little bit of groping, you take a shower with a skeleton, nudity
> 
> God i'm so sorry for this you guys, it's so baaaaaad lol i wrote this a few years ago when I was in a depressive slump and I had the urge for someone to make me get off my ass and take care of me. i decided who better to beat your ass into shape with unlimited love and support than Blue?

You sat on the couch in the same clothes you’ve worn for a week and you could smell yourself. You shifted and your stank wafted up to your nose making you grimace but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Depression hit you hard and it refused to let you go so you just relaxed in its paralyzing grip and went with the ride.

Hunger gnawed at you but you ignored that too. Food wasn’t appealing at the moment and you didn’t want to get up from your comfortable but gross position on the couch. You had just sent a text to your best friend agreeing on how hot a character was from your favorite fandom and were planning to lay down for your third nap of the day when your front door was opened with a resounding bang. It scared the shit out of you and with a startled yell, you looked up to see your boyfriend, Sans, standing in the doorway with his knees bent and his arms up to his shoulders and his fists clenched towards the ground.

“HUMAN!!! I HAVE RECEIVED NEWS OF THE LACK OF CARE YOU HAVE SHOWN YOURSELF!!!”

You gaped at him as he stomped towards you and suplexed you above him with a thundering laugh as he jumped over the couch, making a beeline to your bathroom.

“MWEH HEH HEH HEH! I AM HERE TO BRING YOU OUT OF YOUR SLUMP!!! THE FIRST STEP TO BATHE!!!”

“Blue,” you yelled as his scarf slapped you in the face when he flipped you over his shoulder with your ass in the air, kicking your bathroom door open, “what is going on?!?”

“THE MAGNIFICENT SANS IS HERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND WASH AWAY YOUR TROUBLES WITH HIS SOOTHING VOICE AND CHARISMATIC PERSONALITY!!!!”

You screamed a little as he practically plopped you in front of him and turned on your shower, setting it to what he thought was an appropriate temperature. He hooked his fingers under the lip of your stinky, sweaty graphic T and ripped it off your body. You squeaked and tried to cover yourself but he wasn’t having any of it. He reached behind you and, with years of practice, unclasped your bra, slipping it over your shoulders with a gentle but firm yank.

“BLUE!” You complained and stomped your foot a little childishly as he threw the bra behind him, smirking down at your flushed form. His innocent act went out of the window as soon as he saw your chest. He reached forwards and palmed your breasts, thumbing your nipples. He giggled softly when you groaned at the sensation of his gloves on your skin; your boyfriend was very sporadic at times and while yes, you were flustered, this behavior wasn’t new. 

He slid his hands down your stomach and yanked you to him, your sensitive nipples grazing against the battle body he always wore. He leaned down and bit your ear softly, ignoring how greasy your hair felt against his skull, and whispered, “If you won’t take care of yourself then I guess I’ll have to take matters into my own  _ hands _ .” He groped your ass and you gasped when he slipped his leg in between yours and pushed up. You grabbed his shoulders and he made his move, slipping his fingers into the sides of your sweat pants, yanking them down to your ankles. You glared at him when you realized his trick and he just grinned up at you with his signature starry-eyed gaze. How could you stay mad at that cute face? 

He reached behind you to gauge the temperature of the shower. Deeming it acceptable, he picked you up by your waist and settled you under the warm spray. You were a little aggravated by his manhandling but you knew his SOUL was in the right place so you sighed and turned your face into the water. You shivered as you felt him slide in behind you, having stripped himself of his armor in record time. You shook your head with a laugh as he hugged you from behind.

“I thought I was taking a bath,” you mused as he reached for your cotton candy scented shampoo. 

“I, MYSELF, AM SWEATY AND GROSS FROM TRAINING WITH ALPHYS. I FIGURED WHILE I TAKE CARE OF YOU, I COULD ALSO CLEAN MYSELF UP.” He popped the shampoo open and squeezed it on top of your head, closing it before slipping a hand into your hair and setting it back onto the lip of your bathtub shower combo. You sighed as he massaged your scalp, bunching your hair up at the nape of your neck and giving it a good scrub, letting it go, and then coming back to your scalp. 

“Alright. But you scared the shit out of me. A little warning that you’d be coming over would be appreciated next time.”

“BUT THEN IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN A SURPRISE.”

You groaned as he worked his fingers and turned around to face him to let the water rinse your sudsy hair as you talked, figuring he had given it a thorough enough wash. 

“While I appreciate the thought,” you reached up and cupped his face in your hands, internally squealing at the blue blush that blossomed on his face, “it would be nice to have a heads up. You know my anxiety gets the best of me sometimes and I don’t always know it’s you when you barge in. We’re lucky I didn’t have an attack this time.” 

His face fell and he looked incredibly guilty and you immediately tried to backtrack. 

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way! I just...we both know my mental state still isn’t where it needs to be. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve helped immensely with that but I’m still healing from the negative mindset I had before I met you. These things take time and I’m afraid I’m never going to have enough…”

He perked up and grabbed your face in return, staring down at you with so much conviction, so much  _ love  _ you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

“I KNOW YOU HAD A VERY HARD LIFE BEFORE ME. I AM REMINDED EVERY TIME YOU FLINCH WHEN I AM A LITTLE TOO ENTHUSIASTIC IN MY AFFECTION FOR YOU OR WHEN YOU WAKE UP WITH NIGHTMARES. BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL BE HERE TO HELP YOU GET TO WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. I’VE SEEN YOUR PROGRESS. YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY BUT THE END TO THE ROAD THAT YOU TRAVEL IS STILL QUITE A WAYS OFF. I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO TRAVEL IT ALONE. EVERY LITTLE HICCUP, EVERY SUCCESS, I WILL BE THERE.”

Your eyes stung with tears as you kissed him, trying to put all your love, all your appreciation for him into it. He kissed you with just as much vigor and swept a hand over your head, pushing residual suds into the water. You pulled away and sighed dreamily as his pupils shaped themselves into little hearts.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” 

He let out a soft “mweh heh heh” and kissed you again before reaching for the washcloth beside you. You grimaced and yanked it out of his grip, rambling before he could be offended.

“This one is dirty! I leave them in here and change them out the next time I have to shower...and the last time I showeredwasaweekago.” You threw it into the floor and looked away as you flushed with shame.

“MWEH! WELL, I SHALL GO GET ANOTHER!!” He stepped out of the shower and out into the hall, quickly grabbing a cloth and a towel before running back into the bathroom. He set the towel onto the sink and slid back into the shower with you. It confused you how the fact that you had left a used washcloth in the shower for a week didn’t bother him but you didn’t question it. 

He reached for the blueberry scented body wash his brother had gotten you as a gag gift last giftmas and chuckled as he slathered it onto the cloth. He massaged your body with it, adding just enough pressure for it to feel like a massage. You enjoyed his ministrations and after he was done, you returned the favor. The two of you finished up and stepped out, drying each other off with soft smiles. 

You lead him to your bedroom and thanked whatever deity that was listening that you had the foresight to at least change your bedsheets. You both fell into your bed in a tangle of limbs and bones and talked a little bit about his training before you dozed off in his arms, wondering how the hell you got so lucky.

**Author's Note:**

> wanna give a shoutout to SiriuslySherlocked for helping me for inspiration and just all around being great. go check out her page, her writing is amazing!


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